Episode 194

In this episode of the Removing Barriers podcast, we are delighted to have Tricia as a guest to discuss homeschooling! Tricia is a successful homeschool veteran, having educated her own children and now providing help and encouragement to others. Homeschooling participation had been steadily increasing since the 1980s, but 2020 caused an explosive increase that intensified interest and criticism. The perfect storm of fear, government control, and social unrest shut the world down, and the ideologies infecting the school system were laid bare. Confidence was at an all-time low and suddenly, homeschooling was not just for fundies, zealots, hippies, and conspiracy theorists. Parents began to see it for what it was all along: a reasonable course of action for the education of their children. But is homeschooling the best option? Should we be encouraging parents to educate their children when most of them are not trained educators? What about socialization and extracurricular activities? Tricia has faced the skepticism and criticism that comes with the decision to homeschool, and she helps us peel back the curtain to see it through a lens of wonder and possibility, answering the objections and championing the merits. You won’t want to miss this great conversation!

[Tricia]

So, the most successful homeschooling families I know. Have moms who are curious about the world around them and love to learn themselves. Because if the mom is curious and loves to learn, she will bring her kids along with her.

[Jay]

Thank you for tuning into the Removing Barriers podcast. I’m Jay and I’m MCG. And we’re attempting to remove barriers. So, we can all have a clear view of the cross.

[MCG]

This is episode 194 of the Removing Barriers Podcast, and in this episode, we will be sitting down with Tricia to talk about the importance of homeschooling in today’s culture.

[Jay]

Hi, this is Jay. MCG and I would like for you to help us remove barriers by going to removing barriers net and subscribing to receive all things, removing barriers. If you’d like to take your efforts a bit further and help us keep the mics on, consider donating at removingbarriers.net/donate. Removing Barriers, a clear view of the cross.

[MCG]

Tis sure it is indeed a pleasure and welcome to the Removing Barriers podcast.

[Tricia]

Thanks, I’m excited to be here today.

[MCG]

Great. Well, let’s get into it.

[Jay]

I am so excited to get into this because this is a subject that I am waist deep in right now and it’s an honor to speak to a veteran who has graduated too already and they’ve fled the nest and they’re on their own.

[Tricia]

Hmm.

[Jay]

So we really look forward and are grateful for you sharing your knowledge with us. Tricia. Let’s begin with. Regarding homeschooling, what drove you and your husband to decide to homeschool your children?

[Tricia]

Oh. So this probably is gonna be a little bit different than most homeschooling parents stories. So our homeschooling journey started back when I was actually seven months pregnant with our son, our first child. And at that particular time, I was in college and I was actually finishing my final practicum before graduating for the practicum. I was actually working in a grade six class and a bilingual French English school in central Alberta. And the teacher I was working with was the vice principal of the school. Now just to kind of give you an idea of what things were like. In. Particular classroom every morning when she would. So the vice principal, she would come, she would unlock the door to let me into the classroom. And she would, without fail, mutter under her breath.

I hate it here. I hate this.

[Tricia]

Job and I thought, oh, this is delightful. So after I started working with her, I understood why she felt that way. So we had a homeroom. Class Grade 6A game. There were 30 students in it, General Ed class and in that class we had three ESL students. So English as a second language we had six students that were diagnosed with behavioural disorders, and I don’t even know how many we had that had learning disabilities. So again. Regular Ed classroom in the late 1990s. Well, one day in particular, the students were doing a quiet reading assignment and I was there to supervise and to ensure they were staying on task. And one of the things that we had in the school where these little snack shack tokens. So for positive reinforcement, I was going up to students and saying great job, you’re on task. A. Shack tokens you can be rewarded. For it, well, as I was going about the classroom that particular day, there was this little girl. Her name is Erica and Erica. Was pretty unique, so she was. Like I said, I was in a 6th grade classroom. She was worried about an eighth grade level. Was very advanced, very intelligent. So I went up to her and I went to hand her a token and I said something similar to what I just said to her and she looked up at me and I’ll never forget it. ’cause this was the moment that changed everything. Looked up at me and she said, you know what?

She just had.

This defeat in her eyes, she. Do you know what my teacher never noticed this? She’s always so busy with the bad kids.

[MCG]

Mm.

[Tricia]

And I thought, my dear here is this intelligent. Right. Hard working young lady in 6th. She was hard working, very diligent at her work, and I just saw her future right there. I thought this girl is either going to be so discouraged she’s going to give up altogether, she’s going to become outright rebellious. Because I believe that’s what happens to kids when they don’t have the impetus to keep. So that entire drive home that night we lived about 1/2 an hour away from where I worked and the entire drive home. I just kept thinking about. It kept thinking about. It and of course I was thinking about my unborn child because I was seven months pregnant at the time and I got home and I remember walking to the living room. My husband was already home. Was sitting on the couch. And one of the first things I said was what do you think? Homeschooling our kids. And I know I took him off guard. Definitely like what? Just got home from work. What and? But he was like, well, you. Whatever you feel is. I mean, I’ll support you and so that. Great, but. At the. So again, this is the late 90s. Is 99. Homeschooling wasn’t really a big thing, so there weren’t a lot of people who are doing. There wasn’t a lot of resources or helps or support like there is now, and the only two homeschooling families that we knew were ones went to our church. And they were very strange. Lot. They literally lived across from each other, like next door to each other on acreages, with a fence dividing them.

[Jay]

Mm.

[Tricia]

But what happened on one side of the fence was so different that would happen on the other side of the fence. So the one family on the one side. Every morning the kids woke up at 7:00 AM. Music they schooled intensely until 5:00 PM, like everything was extremely regimented. And then the family on the other side of the fence were more kind of what we would call unschoolers, you know, laissez faire life will happen.

[MCG]

Mm.

[Tricia]

Eventually learn. And so this was our introduction. This is how we started and our first. Our first exposure was very much like opposite ends of the pendulum. So we kind of had to figure our way out from the ground up from there on from.

[Jay]

What you just described? I didn’t have to experience, but I got chills on the right side of my body down my back just thinking about it, jumping into something brand new. You have two extremes represented, right? And you’re trying to do this for your unborn child. And where do you begin? How do you know what to do or where to go, or how to structure your home school? How did you figure all of that out? Out.

[Tricia]

Well, I. To think that I started homeschooling from birth. Because right away it was like this is the direction that we’re going. And So what can I? You know, no matter what, I knew that I wanted to give my children the best education and the best opportunities possible. And I knew that sending them off to public school. Going to accomplish that. So basically I just started winging it. I read what I. There wasn’t much out there at the time, but I read what I could and then I quickly realized, OK, well, that’s not me. Can’t do that. Or what have. And so it was a lot of trial and error at the beginning. A lot of trial and error when we officially started homeschooling, what at school age at that particular time, there was a little bit more supports around the 2000. I guess that would have been about 2005. And so at that time there.

[Jay]

Mm.

[Tricia]

A little bit. More with becoming more popular, there was a little bit more options, so yes. Even. Internet wasn’t something really back.

[Jay]

Right, right.

[Tricia]

So it’s not like you could look. And find resources. So yeah, it was challenging, but it was a lot of fun, I love. I look back on my homeschooling journey, and it was one of the best times of my life.

[Jay]

While you speak so highly of it, and so it sounds like you would probably say that homeschooling is probably the best option for children. That the case, or do you believe that homeschooling is for some kids? Not so much for others. For some families, maybe not for other families.

[Tricia]

Yeah, that’s a good question as. So obviously in a general sense, I would say yes, homeschooling is the best option. That’s because parents should be the ones. Know their kids. They should be the ones most equipped to help them learn and grow. If you spend the first few years of their lives as they’re growing up, you get to know their personalities.

[MCG]

Right.

[Tricia]

Get to know what they’re good at. But at areas they need to grow in their strengths. That I see the. Is that the children learn how to interact. With people of all ages and abilities in a home school setting, I mean they have to work within a family structure and so everyone’s at different levels. You’ve got younger kids, you’ve got older kids, you’ve got parents. If you’re involved in any sort of home, school, communities or extracurricular activities, then you have a lot of dynamics there. For the young people to learn from and to grow. The opposite is true, though. In public school and. Is where I would say. That homeschooling is better because in public school, something I never really thought about until I don’t how many years into schooling. My kids were in their preteens at the time, but a public schools are really unnatural environment because you have.

[Jay]

Yeah.

[Tricia]

Young people who are all the exact same age, pretty much homogeneous in terms of their abilities, their levels, and all of that. And you don’t find that in the real world.

[Tricia]

So homeschooling gives you the opportunity to be able to. Interact with people of different age groups and like I said, different levels different. Another thing in terms of whether or not it’s the best option since I started homeschooling many, many years ago, there’s been a greater and greater deterioration of the public system.

[MCG]

Mm.

[Tricia]

Where now it seems it’s no longer about educating children. There seems to be other things at play within the educational system itself. Then I don’t see that as healthy or helpful long term. I should say I am speaking in general terms. Know that there are good teachers. Out there. I know that there are good. I’m just kind of giving a broad brushstroke about the trend that I’m seeing now. It for everyone. Anybody. I would say no, I can’t say that it is. And there’s reason why sometimes, for example, a child has challenges that maybe you as a parent simply don’t have the ability or knowledge or resources to address. And something more is needed for them. Maybe some sort of professional or structure or something like that? So that would be things like. I don’t know. I can think of autism or ADHD or. There’s all kinds of different issues that can crop up that parents might not feel as well equipped to deal. Doesn’t mean that they can’t get resources. To use in their homeschooling. But sometimes it’s just just not an option. And other times I would say that there are home situations that just aren’t ideal for homeschooling. Unfortunately, we live in a broken world, a fallen world. And sometimes there’s just home structures or home situations that home schooling might not be the ideal. And really for me. In my mind, either way, a parent is ultimately responsible before the Lord for their child’s education and upbringing. Whether you send them to school or whether you homeschool them, either way, your responsibility doesn’t change.

[MCG]

And definitely I think you kind of touch on it a little bit, but if you could zoom in on it a little bit more, what do you think that you were able to instill in your kids that a public school was unable to?

[Tricia]

Well off the bat, as a Christian, I would say that any sort of training in Scripture, I mean that was definitely something that a public school would not have instilled. And I guess when I was homeschooling, I had two goals. Which would be definitely not on a public school radar.

[MCG]

Mm.

[Tricia]

And my two goals were #1 to instill a love of God in his word in my children. And the second goal was to instill a love of learning. I really wanted them to be lifelong learners. To me was very was secondary. To those two goals so often, parents focus on accomplishing a certain set of curriculum.

[Jay]

Hmm.

[Tricia]

Know we’ve got to get this done. Got to get this done but. I really think that these are the two main things that would be ideal to focus. Because if your children have. All love for the Lord and a. For his word. And if they have a love of reading, a love of learning, a love of exploring the world and God’s creation, then God can use them in any circumstance, and he’ll teach them what they need to know if you.

[Jay]

Absolutely.

[Tricia]

Miss something in your home schooling journey? So I firmly believe that those two things are things that public education definitely wouldn’t have instilled in my kids. And another thing. One thing that I do think about is all the things that wasn’t instilled in my children that would have been. If they had gone to public school like I don’t know about you, I grew up in the public system. And. Whatever I think of my public school education, I don’t remember a lesson. I don’t remember a project. Don’t remember. Anything academic that I learned but I do remember a lot of bad things like. Lot of bad things, bad habits or bad bad actions and things like that.

[MCG]

Right.

[Tricia]

For me? Yeah, it’s a completely different. Homeschooling your kids because you said it. You have control over it. Whereas in the public system you don’t know it’s a mixed bag. Could be all kinds. Different influences and things like that.

[Jay]

It’s also the fact that parents don’t exactly know who their kids are being influenced. They think that maybe the teacher is there and perhaps they’ll have influence from their students, but it’s the teacher’s prerogative.

[Tricia]

Oh.

[Jay]

They could have anyone come in and talk to the. In fact, I was talking to one of the ladies at our. Church this was several years ago, right at the beginning of the pandemic, and she was new to the church, military family. So quite. She wasn’t going to be here for long, but she put her child in the public school system of our area and she was blown away. Because they had taken her child out of class. Yes. And set him down in a special group. Now this is without her knowledge. She only found out weeks later when the kid is like, oh, we did this out of the other. They set that child down and talked to them about pronouns and about how you want to be addressed and how do you feel that? Should be addressed, and if your parents? Think otherwise. You know, we’ll just keep it in this circle. And she was. Blown away. She couldn’t believe her. That they would even dare to talk to. You know the children about these things without parents intervention or knowledge, and I was raised in the public school system myself, and I saw some pretty crazy things. Experience some rough things at a homeschooler would not have experienced, but even in my lifetime, the schools that children were in in my day compared to the schools that children are in right now, the difference is I cannot believe how different it is. And so I suppose you and I would agree that public school, OK, that’s awash. We already know that there’s there’s nothing there.

[Tricia]

I. I think the pandemic really exposed it because a lot of parents who thought even secular parents who thought, OK, my kids are going to a good school.

[Jay]

Again, who?

[Tricia]

Has a good. We’ve got award-winning teachers etcetera, now their kids are at home and they’re seeing what their kids are. Know I’ve talked to a bunch of moms who said that, and they’re not even. My sister. Of them where she. Whether it’s bullying that’s happening at school, whether it’s things that they’re being taught that the parents don’t feel is appropriate, whether it’s an overreach in some other area that the teacher or the principal is having, the pandemic really exposed a lot of what was going on in the. That was laying kind of beneath the surface. That unless a child like your friend. Son. Oh, we did this in school. Parents have no idea.

[Jay]

Would have never known. So, OK, so public schools are awash now, what about Christian?Because you would assume in a Christian School, you’ve got Christian teachers, Christian leaders, Christian administrators, and perhaps some percent. Knows what percent of your classmates are Christian, or at least are professing to be Christian. The environment should be better for kids. So what are some things that you were able to instill in your children? Christian schools would not have been able to do.

[Tricia]

Wow. So we have to take a step back for a second because you got a couple different kinds of Christian schools and some different things going on, so there’s. 2. The one is a closed enrollment Christian School, so that would be children who attend that particular church or are in that particular denomination. Are the only people who can go there. And then you have an open enrollment school. It’s a Christian School, so whoever decides their child’s going to be a part of it, they know ahead of time the Bible’s going to be taught. We’re going to have prayer, etcetera. However, the enrollment is open up to the broader community. So in a close enrollment school, it could be good. I mean potentially could be good. I think as a parent you would still want to be involved, at least me. Maybe I’m a little hyper vigilant. Don’t know. After working in the school system. But you’d still want to know what’s going on. Definitely an open enrollment school. It’s almost no different than a public school because potentially. The children that you have there, like you said, a portion of them are definitely not going to be saved. Not going to be churched. And so then that level of influence is, to me, almost the same as if your child is just in a public school together, at least in a public school. Parents know they’re sending their kid into a secular environment, and so they’re anticipating it as a Christian parent. But sending your child to an open enrollment or any sort of Christian School, really, you assume it’s going to be a safe environment. And again, you still don’t know. You still don’t know, so thinking about that, I don’t know. I Christian School. Yeah, definitely. I think that I still instill different values and different ideologies into my children than they. Would have received their.

[MCG]

Hmm.

[Tricia]

And I think it’s the difference of the models, because we’re going back a little bit. The way we do life now is relatively new. Prior to the Industrial Revolution, families were together all the time.

[Jay]

True.

[Tricia]

They worked together. School. It was almost like an apprenticeship for children. Where they learn the family trade, whether it. On the farm. At their business that they ran, what have you. And along that road, they were educated not just in the skills that they needed, but they were also educated in character because the kids were working alongside their parents. Then there was something instilled in them.

[MCG]

Right.

[Tricia]

Was a hard work ethic, you know, good work ethic for hard work. It was. Honesty, integrity. All of these other things that even in a Christian School, I don’t know that it would be. Instilled in children not the same way. Not to the same level.

[Jay]

That.

[Tricia]

Parent could do that and for me that’s the biggest driver. Eventually, when I kind of got my feet under me and figured out this whole homeschooling thing and I was kind of like, where am I?

[MCG]

Alright.

[Tricia]

What am I doing? Why am I doing? This then it was it’s like character at my. Often as parents. I don’t know why we don’t do that. But we don’t ask ourselves, who am I raising? What is? Child going to be like when they’re eighteen 2540 years old.

[Jay]

Hmm.

[Tricia]

Kind of adults. Are they going to be productive in society? Like are they? Are they going to have a love for the Lord and want to teach as the Bible says, teach it to the children’s children?

[MCG]

Right.

[Tricia]

Because a character is the only thing in a faith, those are the only things that they’re really going to take with them into adulthood, and that will really impact the next generation. At Christian School, I don’t think could install those things in a child.

[Jay]

Hmm.

[Tricia]

It’s not their. It’s not their. But as a parent, that was my goal.

[MCG]

Yeah.

[Jay]

Gotcha.

[MCG]

Yeah, it’s interesting you say that because a lot of times folks say, look, I think it might be the personality or the approach of the parents. A lot of times appearance will, let’s say, even church. A lot of parents would ignore teaching the Bible to their kids because figure, well, they get it at church. And I wonder if the same can be true about schooling in terms of a Christian School where the parent may say, hey. Hey, I don’t really need to install character because they’re going to Christian School. They’re going to be learning character O. With that in mind, how should we handle the difference in personality in terms of parents with your kids? That will be maybe cause success or maybe even cause failure in homeschooling.

[Tricia]

I’m gonna go back a little bit to what you just said there about farming out. Responsibilities. Let’s face it, that’s what it is. You’re farming out. You have expectations that are not realistic and that God calls you to be responsible. For your child, not the church, not the Christian School, not the public.

[MCG]

Mm.

[Tricia]

You and parents, we have to ask ourselves and do this regularly, but ask yourself, do I have the heart of my child? Because there’s a worldview out there that they’re going to get a worldview somewhere, someone is influencing them. Always being influenced. Who has a heart. Who’s driving the ship? And parents need to matter more than. Pierce, they absolutely have to. More than social media. More than teachers. You have to have your child’s heart and it’s lazy parenting. And maybe I’m being harsh, but this is OK. I’m.

I think this. Is.

Lazy parenting to just coast along and let your children be shaped. Children are going to be shaped by something by someone. Is it you? We have to be very intentional with our parenting and I’m not just talking in the ear of homeschooling. I’m talking about parenting in general.

[Jay]

Mm.

[Tricia]

That was something that, I guess having a fear of. In the area of parenting or of raising your children, this is a huge responsibility and praise God a huge blessing. We got to trust us to do it and help. He’ll enable us, but OK on to your question about personalities. Well, obviously people have different God-given abilities and talents, and so one parent is going to be, you know, more organized than the next or one parent is going to be more creative than the next. So obviously each home school is. To be different. They’re not going to be cookie cutters, one of another. I guess one thing that I’ve learned over the years is that there’s a certain type of parent. Who? Well, I should say, mother. The key to the that makes or breaks a home school is the mom. It really is hands down. No pressure moms.

[Jay]

I was just thinking that.

[Tricia]

But in my experience, I’ve had a lot of moms over the years come to me and ask advice or, you know, for different areas of their home school. So I observe. Like. I like seeing hey, what works. Doesn’t. What makes things? Why are things successful and other things not so successful and? I’d have to say the most successful. When I say successful. I mean, joyful homeschooling families where the kids enjoy learning and have fun in the process. And the mom isn’t in a constant state of being frazzled. So when I see success, that’s what I mean. So the most successful home schooling families I know. Have moms who are curious about the world around them and love to learn themselves. Because if the mom is curious and loves to learn, she will bring her kids along with her. It’s not a fight. If homeschooling hurts, you’re doing it wrong.

[Jay]

Really.

[Tricia]

God’s commandments are not previous.

[MCG]

Yep.

[Tricia]

You know, and so. Those sorts of moms, they just tend to foster the same sort of wonder and curiosity in their children as well. I’d say that that’s the best kind of personality. Or rather, I guess character trait. The one that has the most impact in a successful home. As for other personality differences. Within families, obviously. Your kids are. To be different and as a parent you have to be a student of your students.

[MCG]

Hmm.

[Tricia]

You have to. Really add whether a home schooler or not, you should know your kids.

[MCG]

Right.

[Tricia]

What are their likes? What are their dislikes? Their. What are they good? What are things that they struggle with? What is God calling them to do in their lives? You see. Can you see it starting to take shape? I could see. When my son came up to me and said he wanted to. This and so I was like Yep.

[Jay]

Yeah, you had already seen it.

[Tricia]

I can.

[Jay]

Yeah, yeah. See that?

[Tricia]

I saw that coming a mile away and my daughter came to me and she said, mom, I want to go into medicine and. Thought what in the world?

[Jay]

What you’re supposed to do?

[Tricia]

She was still a teenager at the time and one of the blessings of home school is you can tailor their education.

[Jay]

Alright.

[Tricia]

So we got her into prenet classes. I mean because you can do that, right?

[Jay]

Yeah.

[Tricia]

But back to being a student of your students. How do your kids learn best? Are they auditory? Visual do they need to work with their hands to understand how things are? If you know these things about your kids, then you can provide the best resources for them. You can meet their. This is something a public or Christian School can’t do. They can meet the child where they’re. Whether it’s level, ability, understanding interests, we did a lot of that. What are you interested? I would go and pick a couple of different curriculum for them to use within that interest. Something I thought was age appropriate and what I thought met. The criteria? What I was wanting to learn and. They could choose the curriculum. Out of these three, which? Do. Like you want to study marine biology. I have three different ones. Which one do you find more fascinating? But because each child is different, what works for one might not work for the next.

[Jay]

So would that mean that the structure of the home school will vary from child to child as well, or from family to family or?

[Tricia]

Mom has to be flexible. School like that is a #1. On the list.

[Jay]

Yeah, because I I totally can. Like, it always amazes me how we have 4 boys and each one is incredibly different from the other. Come from the same womb, but they completely different.

[Tricia]

Here.

[Jay]

People. And so I imagine because of that complex interplay, the difference between personalities, how they learn and how we interact with them because of our personalities, it seems like home school will be different for each child.

[Tricia]

Oh.

[Jay]

At different times it. Just seems like it’s going to be sort of a patchwork, maybe piece meal sort. Hey, let’s put it together like this to see if it works and there isn’t like a straight structure. That the case? Or am I missing something?

[Tricia]

Nail on the head. I think you hit the nail on the head and even. With what you just said, I would love to look at my kids and be like how in the world are you 2 so similar and yet so.

[Jay]

Different.

[Tricia]

I don’t think there is one-size-fits-all. I really don’t and.

[Jay]

Yeah.

[Tricia]

What I find most moms do, which it leads to frustration. Always see it. They basically try to recreate everything about a public education classroom in their home.

[MCG]

Yeah.

[Tricia]

So they have a room. This is our school room. You each have your desk. You each have your books on there. Each have. You know we have. You know, everything is the exact same exact same and is that the best environment?

[Jay]

Yeah.

[Tricia]

Know it might be. Maybe your kids thrive in that environment. But it’s OK to not do that as well. I know for us we just lived a very busy life. My husband worked away from home for quite a few of our homeschooling years, and so I had to do a little bit more of the heavy lifting in terms of what went on around. House so. Did a four day school week. Because. Doctor’s appointments happen. Kids get sick. Emergencies come up. So having a four day school week. I had those four days structured and one day with a flex day.

[Jay]

Hmm.

[Tricia]

So if, let’s say we schooled Monday to Friday or Monday to Thursday, Friday was our Flex day Tuesday, we have a doctor’s appointment, OK? Taking Tuesday off this week. ‘S being moved. We’re now schooling Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday.

[Jay]

Right.

[Tricia]

Super easy to transition and change. See another thing that. Did, which was a game changer. Was floating time boxes. So what that was, instead of having a rigid schedule where every single day we get up and to marching music at 7:00 AM you. It’s called straight sort of 5:00. Instead of that what I would do is say, OK, we’re taking an hour. Monday, Wednesday, Friday to do history. Where it occurs in that day, I don’t know because I don’t know what that day is going to hold. But one hour of that particular day will have that particular.

[MCG]

OK.

[Tricia]

Subject And so that way I knew what had to get done in that day, but I wasn’t stressed out that it’s 10:00. Why we haven’t started. Have to get this done by 11:00 because 11. We have this next thing to do, so I scheduled those subjects in what I call floating time boxes. So as long as it was within that day, it didn’t matter when it occurred, as long as it got done.

[MCG]

Hmm.

[Tricia]

And it took a huge amount of stress off me. Our lives could happen because maybe you have an extremely late night at church the night before and it’s harder for everybody to get up the next day. Whatever you know, then start the day a little bit later.

[Jay]

Yeah.

[Tricia]

It’s totally. You can still accomplish the same things just in a little bit. Be flexible. Be flexible and try something. If it doesn’t work, give yourself permission. To do something. I don’t know why we as moms were like, I bought this curriculum. Have to finish this. It doesn’t matter if you hate it and it’s driving me mad.

[Jay]

Well, you know what it is right, Tricia. Know what it is. Moms are afraid of not doing right by their. They’re afraid that their kids are going to grow up and have learning gaps. Maybe they’re going to be. Or maybe the kids will surpass them and they won’t be ready for. Which means they won’t be able to function, which means they’re not going to be a contributing member of society. So.

[Jay]

You know, I may be asking for a friend. I’m asking for a friend here, right?

[Tricia]

I get it, I get it.

[Jay]

And so you have the weight of the world on your shoulders because you’re thinking every morning you wake up, you’re thinking, oh, my word. I hope I don’t ruin these kids. I hope I’m not setting these kids up for failure and so perhaps that’s why some moms are like, OK, we gotta do this curriculum at this time. You gotta get this done. This and that done. And I imagine that would create a very stressful home school, a very.

[Tricia]

Replay.

[Jay]

Environment. Both the mom and the kids.

[Tricia]

I totally. And I mean, we have to take a step back and say what is education? Anyway, what is? Does it only ever happen at a desk with a pencil? A. I don’t know why we have this crazy idea that that’s the only time it happens where I’m a firm believer that the world is a classroom, and I think that Scripture backs head up.

[MCG]

Mm.

[Jay]

Yes.

[Tricia]

And so if you’re out taking a walk in the forest with your kids, talk about what kind of trees are there, what types of flowers grow there, the variety of birds you see, you know, if anything here edible? How did people survive long ago in the woods without any grocery stores?

[Jay]

Uh.

[Tricia]

Know education really isn’t that hard. And Speaking of grocery stores, if you’re out shopping and getting your groceries for the week with your kids, talk to them. What you’re purchasing? Why are you purchasing it? Choose that. Is it a better? How can they know you’re teaching life skills? Yeah, I remember years ago I was at church. We were in the lobby and this family friends that we have come in. And they had three kids, and it was, I think, was like around October. And I said to. Daughter, I don’t know. Maybe about 9:00 at the time, maybe 10. I said to her. Oh, so how’s school going this year? And she looked up at me, kind of stiff lipped, and she said I hate math. And I thought, wow. Parents are sure missing the mark. And then I began to show her I’m like, oh, we need math to tell time and to cook or bake to know how to save and spend money because to her. Math was something she had to do confined to a desk.

[Jay]

Right. It was a worksheet or an assignment.

[Tricia]

Yeah, it wasn’t a useful set of skills that you’re going to use throughout the rest of your life.

[Jay]

Wasn’t life right?

[Tricia]

And so as you take your journey, instruct them along the way. Like you don’t have to be brilliant. They’re kids. You automatically qualify as knowing more than they do.

[Jay]

Yeah. That’s really good way to look at it. It’s not.

[Tricia]

That hard?

[Jay]

I’m thinking about that line from the Matilda movie where the parent is saying to Matilda I’m big and you’re small. I’m smart and you’re not. Perhaps not with that attitude, but it is true. You are older than them. You’ve been in the world a few decades longer than they have.

[Tricia]

Knowledge been down the road a little further and even in terms of curriculum, you know, I was extremely eclectic.

[Jay]

Probably know a little more.

[Jay]

Yeah.

[Tricia]

I’m not a very good box curriculum. I’m actually not a very good boxed anything person. Really do whatever works for. Just do whatever works for you. Each one of us is different.

[MCG]

Hmm.

[Tricia]

And I’m not fond of changing curriculums necessarily, but if you’re noticing something’s not working, change it. Why bang your head against the wall? Why have a fight every day when you home school your kids? If this isn’t working like another thing that that bothers me, I’m going to just release AB from my Bunn here for a second. But parents? Cheap out on their home school curriculum. Parents who go the most economical way possible. Forgive me if you’re one of them, but I do. To challenge your thinking. You’re investing in your child. You’re potentially setting them up for their future career, their future family, your children’s children. We’re talking a long term investment in the education of your kids, so don’t cheap out. Not saying go ahead and buy the most expensive thing, but I’m saying. At least consider buying something that actually helps them and that doesn’t frustrate you or them. And so leave all options on the table. And yeah, I’m sorry. Be a cheapskate.

[Jay]

Well, you mentioned that and I’d like to just read this scripture quickly before we move on to a short break here. When you talk, Tricia, about teaching these kids wherever you go and not keeping it to, you know, the workbook or the assignment, Deuteronomy 6 is exactly what. Have in scripture as the mandate for that. Six, and I’ll just read it. Verse 6 says which I command thee. This day shall be in thine heart. And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, when thou walkest by the way, when thou liest down, and when thou risest up, thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand. And they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes, and thou shalt write them down upon the posts of thy house, and on the gates, and so literally throughout every walk of your life, whether you wake up, go to bed, go to the store, go to the movies, go. To the whatever. Oh well, we’re independent fundamental Baptists. Don’t go to movies, right? Whatever we’re doing in right at the dinner table.

[Tricia]

At the dinner table.

[Jay]

Whatever we’re doing in life, teach the children as you go, and that seems to be the prescription in Scripture.

[Tricia]

I would agree, and one thing that I would just add to that is that. Yeah. Our kids are so. Like God entrusted us with these little people. Who? We have no idea. I one thing I love about kids I absolutely love about kids. I’ll be totally transparent here. Hated kids growing up. I hated. I told my mom I was never going to have them. And then I got saved and I realized. Oh, they don’t have to be like that screaming child. Having a tantrum for the chocolate bar in the grocery store they. What you make them?

[Jay]

Yeah.

[Tricia]

And once I realized that it was like, Lord, who am I having the? To shape. Did Susanna Wesley know that she was raising a Charles and a John? Did Charles Spurgeon’s mom realize that she was raising Prince of Preachers? You know, we have no idea. This is an investment. I think that’s why I’m super passionate about it is because, I mean, I think we take for granted the privilege and the awesome responsibility that we have.

[MCG]

Right.

[Tricia]

In rearing our kids and so now when I meet kids, I’m always like, oh, praise the Lord. I get to influence this little person. This is so exciting because I don’t know who they’re going to be. Don’t know what impact my current interaction with them is. To have in the future. And that’s awesome. That’s awesome.

[Jay]

Yeah, totally is totally.

[Tricia]

The thing about.

[MCG]

Well, we gonna take a little break from this discussion. We’re sitting down with Fisher and we’re talking about homeschooling and what are not is the best option for parents. Listening to Removing Virus podcast. Be right back.

[Jay]

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All right, let’s jump right back into it, Tricia. Now we’re talking about homeschooling and how it’s to be structured and how we take different personalities into account. There’s also one important thing that perhaps some folks don’t consider when it comes to homeschooling. It’s the relationship between. The parents. So how foundational is cooperation, communication, unity between couples when it comes to executing homeschool? Or is homeschool one of those things where it could just be purely the mom’s responsibility and the dad can check out or vice versa? What are your thoughts on that?

[Tricia]

Well, I know that happens sometimes. Don’t know if it’s ideal. But yes. Well, like I said, my husband had worked away from home for much of the time when my children were younger, so he left a lot of the homeschooling implementation and decision making me, which was fine because that’s more of my wheelhouse. I didn’t.

[MCG]

Mm.

[Tricia]

At all. But his support in what I was doing really helped bolster my ability to do it for sure. For sure it would be very challenging in a marriage relationship where one partner was against homeschooling and the other was for it. I can see that being a very contentious issue. So yeah, one thing I will say in terms of communication between couples, I had a. Friend years ago, when I was first starting. Officially homeschooling my kids, and she was quite a bit further along in her homeschooling journey than I was. She had six kids and she was a professional teacher.

[Jay]

Oh wow.

[Tricia]

An awesome resource. Really, really. A fantastic. She had a lot of insight and I like to pick her brain, but I used her a lot as a kind of like, a homeschooling mentor. I bounced ideas off of her. Would ask for curriculum recommendations. I would see counsel when I felt stuck. Or when something I was doing wasn’t working. King. So she was a really great blessing to me when I needed help because she had the expertise I was lacking. But once I had narrowed down, for example, my book list for the coming year, I would run it by my husband and ask him his thoughts. And then we would pray about it. Before we. Would actually choose what we were going to. And then I would go ahead and order it to implement it the following year. So I know for him he really appreciated that because he didn’t have the time. To sift through the myriad of. Of choices that are out there. He was just like, OK.

[Jay]

Yeah.

[Tricia]

Don’t say to him. Is where I think they. This is where I think they should be going. Do you? And we would discuss. I did have educational plans each year, just kind of a track to run on a rough guide to follow and I would check with him on that as well. So the two of us worked, I guess kind of tag teamed a little bit. Definitely it was a huge blessing to have his so. Important.

[Jay]

Can you imagine a scenario where the, let’s say, the father is not supportive because he feels like perhaps you know the kids might get a better education in the school system, you know, then staying home? That a situation where the mother would just have to submit even though she. ‘S truly convicted that home schooling is the best option.

[Tricia]

That’s. One that’s a really tough one. That would have to be definitely evaluated on a case by case basis. In my personal opinion, just because there could be other circumstances in there. Reasons why he’s against it. She’s for it. Vice versa. Yeah. So yeah, I think that would have to be definitely addressed on an individual level.

[Jay]

What about the many ways that homeschooling can go badly? There seems to be a huge push.

[Jay]

Yeah.

[Jay]

I don’t know if you’re seeing this on your end, ’cause you’re serving outside of the country and you’re pretty much done with your homeschooling journey. Least right. Wait till the grandkids start coming in. Right? But.

[Jay]

It seems like right now in the United States, there is a sort of counter push or a counter revolution. If you would against home schooling. When the pandemic hit, homeschooling exploded. Especially when parents realized what their kids were being taught, but now?

[Tricia]

Mm.

[Jay]

There seems to be a reaction where homeschool graduates are are. Blessing and working together to quote expose home, school and why it’s not all it’s cracked up to be, and why kids should be in school. Or perhaps they’re making an argument for why the government should be more involved. In regulating home school, some of these are homeschool graduates advocating for. So how do you respond to some of the criticisms that homeschooling and home schoolers are typically exposed to when it comes to the safety of the children? Their level of education, their competence. Once graduating, those sorts of things. What are your thoughts on those?

[Tricia]

So I’m Canadian. So where I come from each province, I don’t how it works in the states, but each province has its different homeschooling set up. How you work within the government system, the province that I did most of my homeschooling in was awesome. It was awesome. You got to choose a non resident school board. And they assigned you a liaison basically to help you fulfill your schooling goals. So to make sure that the children are meeting whatever requirements are needed for the state, thankfully it wasn’t anything. They weren’t mandating certain curriculum or certain tests you weren’t teaching to the test or something like that. They just wanted to make sure that it was. Of. Accountability partner and the wonderful thing about the liaison was they were homeschooled.

[Jay]

Sure.

[Tricia]

They had homeschooled their own children. And they were an education professional.

[MCG]

Mm.

[Tricia]

So the thing I really loved, the fellow I had his name. Mr. He’s in heaven now, but he thought. The. And I blame him for my thinking. But the wonderful thing about that was. The children didn’t fall through the cracks. Mr. Gurney was a real blessing to us our homeschooling facilitator, because he really taught me to think outside the box. What he did was the whole reason why he was there was just to make sure I was on track. Was accountability.

[Jay]

Yeah.

[Tricia]

And I thought that was really great. Was really. So depending on how the states are set up or the provinces are set up, you know. Obviously some parents, like I said before, some parents, I don’t think should homeschool their kids just because of certain circumstances. Some kids, I don’t think that they thrive in that environment as much. So sometimes the critics have, well, I’ll give you an example. My sister, when I started homeschooling my kids. My dear, I got so much Flack because it wasn’t a thing.

[Jay]

Right.

[Tricia]

So my youngest sister was a fourth grade teacher and all she saw were the homeschool rejects.

[Jay]

Yeah.

[Tricia]

So the kids who, for whatever reason, the parents had pulled them out of school. And then the kids weren’t. Something was going on. They decided to put them back and then she got stuck with the ones that were very far behind.

[MCG]

Hmm.

[Tricia]

So sometimes the critics do they have a reason why they think they do? Yes. I mean, we’re not all. We don’t have it all together and sometimes circumstances and situations are just just not ideal. I remember when I first started homeschooling, my mom had because.

[Tricia]

Remember, I started the beginning of the twenty 20s. 20. Oh my dear, the 2000. My mom lamented to me because my family wasn’t saved and so my mom lamented to me, she’s like, oh, your poor. I wanted to take them to my backpacks for their first day of school and school supplies, and they’re not going to have that experience. And I thought. Why can’t I just go buy the backpacks? We could. Pick up their old school supplies. They’re not missing out on much here, and we still got a first day of school photo and you know all of that. So sometimes I think that people who well, for example, socialization, that’s a huge one huge thing that critics say, well, what about socialization that my mom would say that to me a lot was well, what about socialization? Remember, one time saying to her. I said. Do you remember every time you would get a phone call? Because I was socializing at school, what would happen to me when I got home? I said when does school start being about education and start being about socialization? No, I’m not against socializing our kids. You can put them in soccer practice. You can put them in baseball, you can put them in, you know, whatever name your extracurricular activity.

[Jay]

Yeah, mm.

[Tricia]

Art. So socialization is not a problem, often people. Levy that at parents. I, Mr. Greeny, our home school facilitator. I remember once he told me a story. He said one day. Home schooling Dad kept getting asked about, well, what about socialization? What about? And so the next person who told him that he looked at them square in the face and he said, we socialize their kids every Friday, we beat them up and take their lunch money.

[Jay]

We give them the real public school experience.

[Tricia]

Seems like I’m sick and tired of this. I mean, it’s ridiculous.

[Jay]

Yeah, it’s not a strong argument at all. Yeah.

[Tricia]

I think that people don’t. No, it’s. But I think that those people, they just think this is not normal. This is not what I expected. Experienced and so therefore it must be harmful, or I know somebody who did it poorly. And therefore the broad. Everyone does it this exact same way.

[MCG]

Yeah, I grew up, you know, in the Caribbean island. I grew up in home school in was nonexistent. The only people that may be home school would be maybe missionaries that come to the island with their kids, but locals is almost non.

[Tricia]

Hmm.

[MCG]

There was one family in my community that actually. Homeschool, and that was a disaster because they had a weird religious belief.

[Tricia]

Oh.

[MCG]

So the kids had to call the father. I think the wife had to as well. Well, they weren’t. They were like common law marriage, but the wife had to refer to their husband either. Definitely had to refer to him as my Lord.

[Tricia]

Wow.

[MCG]

It would be yes, my Lord. No, my Lord, whatever case may be and.

[Jay]

My Lord.

[MCG]

I know a number of them. You know, his girls were like my age. One year older, one year younger. And I know when the government cracked down on them, I was in my early to mid teens and they couldn’t read.

[Jay]

Yeah.

[MCG]

And the younger ones were in the same boat. They couldn’t read, they couldn’t count, but it was constant that they homeschool their homeschooling. And that was a big thing on the island, because now we have kids. There should be in at least we refer to a secondary school. And upper primary levels, they can’t even read and know they’re gonna have to go into school system because the government crackdown on them, a lot of them didn’t have. Birth certificates, because they were all homebird that they didn’t report to the government. It was just a whole big mess. And that’s what a lot of people look at homeschooling. Now, even today in the islands, there are two things in the islands that you never do. You never homeschool. And you never send your kids to school in the month of August because that’s the summer. So you have to go to school in the month of August, the whole month of August that summer vacation so. That usually school will open like the first week of September, like the first full week. So sometime you will fall on maybe the 31st of August. The government actually have to change the law because it was so taboo that it would be the first Monday of Sept.

[Tricia]

Ah.

[MCG]

And that the first week we’re going into the first week of September, I think all that to say this you know, because we’re talking about critics of homeschooling, how do you really. That because for me, my wife was the one who has a desire to homeschool. For me, my experience, homeschooling was that. It was.

[Tricia]

OK.

[MCG]

You have teenage kids that can’t read, you know, talk to someone like me that have never seen it done properly.

[Tricia]

Don’t look at the homeschooling hall of shame as. A frame of reference. Well, yeah, I mean, do some people do it? Yes, but that doesn’t mean that has to be you, you know, and I find that I myself am in this lot here with what I’m going to say.

[MCG]

Right.

[Tricia]

We think as homeschoolers, we have to prove something that we have to prove something that I’m not harming my kids. They’re getting a good education. Look at how social they are.

[Jay]

Yeah.

[Tricia]

What we really feel that there’s this great pressure that we have to prove ourselves and it’s to an unseen person. It’s just to the world at large and really if we think about it, we’re trying to. It to ourselves.

[MCG]

Hmm.

[Tricia]

And it took me. Long time to figure that out. This is me versus me. This is not somebody else putting this pressure on me. This is myself putting this pressure on me and so I’m stressed out and This is why I can’t throw.

[MCG]

Right.

[Tricia]

A bad curriculum book. Or skip over a lesson because I don’t realize it’s me versus me.

[Jay]

Yeah.

[Tricia]

Those expectations are my expectations of myself, and it’s not realistic.

[MCG]

Right.

[Tricia]

And so I think that as a home schooling parents. We have to realize that those people who say those things, they don’t know what they’re talking about. I can say this because I’m on the other end of the homeschooling journey. When you’re finished and your kids are adults, those around you will see a difference between your kids and other people’s kids. I remember the day that my family actually said to me, wow, your kids aren’t like.

[Tricia]

Wow, your kids are actually really whatever. You know, your kids are well-rounded. My family even now tells me, and I mean, I think it’s debatable as their mother. But my family says your kids are well-rounded adults. You know, I still see. Their parents that they. To grow in, but they see the difference, and so if you know why you’re doing what. What you’re doing and you believe that you’re doing? The Lord would have you to do. Then you just need to be firm in that and keep walking in that even if there is. Some push back from other people, and sometimes it’s justified. Sometimes you have to re evaluate. Know I don’t have it all together. There’s gonna be areas that I need improvement in and so if there is pushback evaluated, if it’s valid, adjust whatever you need to adjust, and if not, just keep marching. Just keep marching.

[Jay]

Let’s follow that same vein, Tricia, because. Burnout Articularly on the mom. Burnout for the mom is a real thing, and there are some mornings where you know I’m afraid to get out of bed because again, I’m wondering how am I going to ruin these kids today?

[Tricia]

Hmm.

[Jay]

So can you talk to that issue about burnout? I know it’s a genuine concern, but how should we as homeschool moms be dealing with it?

[Tricia]

Hmm.

[Jay]

It’s definitely overwhelming. What? Tips for dealing with the overwhelm the burnout.

[Tricia]

Sure. That’s a really awesome question because. In the I don’t know, 25 years since I started my own schooling journey. I get a lot of this from moms. Again, I’ll go. To what I said earlier, if homeschooling hurts, you’re. It wrong. God gives us emotions for a reason, and when there’s pain, it’s because that’s a symptom of something. So if homeschooling hurts, stop and evaluate. Why is this hurting? We doing? You doing what can be. My mom’s come to me, and typically what I hear from moms, it’s not like, oh, I’m feeling so overwhelmed or I’m feeling burned out. This curriculum isn’t. Or the kids are driving me nuts. Fighting all the time. What curriculum can you recommend for? X subject.

[Jay]

Right.

[Tricia]

I give them three questions and I say, OK, take a step back. Can you tell me why are you homeschooling? And most moms, surprisingly enough, don’t have an answer. Answer or if they have an answer, they say well, it’s because you know they shouldn’t be in public school. Great, but why? Why? What’s your purpose and what you’re doing? And hopefully it’s hopeless. Just because you feel it’s expected of you. Especially in your Christian circles, is a very bad reason to do it, and more often than not, that would end in failure.

[MCG]

Right.

[Tricia]

That would be the first. Why are you doing what you’re. The second question is, what’s your philosophy of education? Everything you do has a philosophy undergrading it, whether you’re aware of it or not. Some belief system holding it up. So what is your philosophy? How are you? What you’re doing in your home school, that’s how you can figure out if it’s working or not. If it’s not working, get a new philosophy now with the advent of the Internet, you know, a quick Google search and you can have a whole.

[Jay]

Yeah.

[Tricia]

Of different. Ways to home school. Different philosophies of home schooling. Another thing is and again the system to competition. Go easy on yourself. Figure these things out. Have a good undergrading of what you’re doing. The third question though, I would say is what are you wanting to produce in this journey? And I touched on this earlier. Who are you trying to raise? If a mom can’t answer those three questions? I say go to your husband. Three questions down. And they were #1. Why are you homeschooling #2? What’s her philosophy of? And #3, what are you wanting to produce at the end of this? If you can’t answer those three things, typically, overwhelm comes from somewhere in there somewhere in there. If they don’t know which actually, I’ve never had a mom answer those questions. I say go back to your husband, talk about it, pray about it. Figure out where you stand on these three things, and then we’ll again. And so typically overwhelm or burnout comes from that. Not really having an idea of why we’re doing what we’re doing, how we’re going to accomplish it. Mean. How in the world are you gonna hit a target if you don’t know what it is or what tools you’re using?

[MCG]

Mm.

[Tricia]

Aim at it. Then the other. I would. Say is have a good support group, whether it’s burnout or overwhelm or however you want to call it. It’s very difficult on moms when they do it alone. If you don’t have family around, praise God. There’s homeschool Co. You can get involved in some churches if they’re large. They have a Co-op group that you can join, but the reason how this helps it’s not just me versus the. It’s all these other parents who are in the same boat. Some further along in their journey.

They can help.

Pull you along, give you the encouragement you need, give you resources if you need them. They can help a lot of times. Co-ops have get togethers. Maybe once a month where different parents will teach different things. Maybe one. Is good at art. Can. The children art. Another one is. Carpenter so he can teach them woodworking or what have. So it’s a sharing of the load, not just a support, but a sharing of. Load and so those things I find really help to not feel like man. This is so tough.

[Jay]

Yeah, too much.

[Tricia]

Of time. Exactly. Yeah, just having a good core of knowledgeable people around is very, very advantageous, very advantageous, especially like I said earlier, if you have a child you’re trying to homeschool who has dyslexia or ADHD. Or. Or some other. Complicating factor I was just talking to a mom this past week. Contacted me. Me, I already thought her daughter was on the spectrum and something happened and it seems like it’s confirming that that she was struggling in her home schooling. And I read quite a bit about it. Had homeschooling homeschooling. I’m a teacher, so I’ve had students who were autistic and so I was able to help her with some resources. So. Just having that. Network to support you is very very helpful.

[MCG]

I want to ask a question along that line because I was a teacher for about a year, year and a half and I didn’t notice something that was pretty interesting in my students. This was all girls high school. And it was like the cream of the crop in the.

[Jay]

Really.

[MCG]

There was a complimentary all boys portion of it as well, but he had to pass your entrance exam in the top tier to be able to enter the school. So I was a science teacher there, I said. I said. You know that most of the students in there are competitive like the first place student. 98. 29 you know and persons that are averaging in the 60s or 70s are at the bottom of the class. Just to give you the level of competition in the school.

[Tricia]

Wow. Up.

[MCG]

So I had this girl in my class and for whatever reason she was, you know, somewhere in the middle, maybe closer to the bottom of her class in terms of test results and stuff like that. But as a science teacher, we’ll do labs, you know. But maybe every other week or so we’ll take them to labs. And she was my best student in the lab. You know, she was helpful.

[Jay]

Hmm.

[MCG]

Was. She like what is? The same student that in lecture you know. Then I realized, oh, she’s a hands on learner. She wants to be able to. She want to be able to do the experiments and she was having fun. You know, I said all that, and also even my own encounter because.

[Jay]

Mm.

[MCG]

It wasn’t until I was an adult I learned that I was mildly dyslexic, you know? I went through entire schooling with that and after time I learned to cope. But I’m kind of glad because the government in the carbon a little bit different, but I’m kind of glad I didn’t know because even though some teachers kind of alluded to it, especially when I was doing my associate degree. But I’m kind of glad it wasn’t under the hands of the government and I think a lot of parents are afraid when they start talking about dyslexia, autism. Tension disorder and stuff like that. A lot of Christian parents get like, oh, then the government is going to come in, they’re going to medicate my kid. Going to do all these things with something that the kid, at least I was in my desertion, can learn to deal with it if they’re not.

[Tricia]

Mm hmm.

[MCG]

Heavily medicated what would your response be to that?

[Tricia]

Well, it doesn’t have to be that way. Because. Like for example, if you have to put your child in school for whatever reason, there’s still a bit of. Thankfully for the parents in terms of medication and things like that, I mean the parents are the ones who have to give the medication. If the parents don’t give it the child, get it. There’s certain things like that, but in terms of homeschooling? The wonderful thing nowadays. Is a quick Google search and you can find all sorts of. Helps and resources for those kinds of things. So whether it’s actually, you know, curriculum that’s tailored to that or whether it’s maybe a tutor who knows how to deal with that, there’s things like Prep Lee Prep lee.com you can. Hire tutors for a very good. Some of them are versed in these particular things. You need a a reading tutor. So there’s a lot of different resources out there that didn’t exist before, so that parents. Can be equipped if they want to be equipped. The key right? Sometimes it’s like as a parent you just think this is just too overwhelming for me. I don’t think I can handle that. So you have to kind of gauge where you’re. And again, a homeschooling Co-op I know for myself, I deal with the psychics. Students quite. Here when I teach in the classroom setting and so other parents, probably within a homeschool Co-op, more than likely you’d have other parents who deal with that as. Maybe they have resources or so and so can help you, or talk to this person. Or read this particular. So I don’t know, I think. I think that. Like you said, back when we were growing up, things were quite a bit different than they are now. Thank the Lord they’ve. And the opportunities and availabilities of helps are far greater than they used to be.

[MCG]

Yeah, this is going back to my experience because I was doing an associate degree when I was first told. I think some of my high school teachers may have alluded to. They alluded to some stuff, but they never really used the word dyslexic I was. Doing associate degree in computer programming and one of my teacher. Wanted to talk to me and I was like, I just was like after the test results and I’m like. I got AB Plus which is, you know it’s not an A, but it’s not bad and I figure, you know, I believe I could have gotten a a on the test, but whatever reason. So they sat me down and she took my paper and she said going through all the stuff and she was like, you know, show me all the evidence messed up my way of think.

[Jay]

Oh.

[MCG]

ING test. So I said OK. I don’t think I am, but I took her up on it because he was. For most art free through the government. But at that point, I think I was like 18 or something like that. I. I’m going to go on the computer and start researching this thing as much as possible, so by the time the tests actually came around, I already knew so much about it. Was more like. Yeah, I already know what a diagnostic going to be here and stuff like that.

[Tricia]

Yeah.

[MCG]

But like for instance, even now I still reverse numbers but mental. I know that I do. So when I recall it, I just flip it around. I don’t know how I do it. But I just meant it flipped around to.

[Tricia]

You stick her to work around.

[MCG]

I’m just like you know, should I send my kids to the government and they’re going to come with all these crazy things? And I think that they can flip that around. So I don’t know.

[Tricia]

I. I mean as a parent, if you have a child who you suspect has some sort of challenge in their learning abilities, is it? To. Or to continue on and not know what’s the best thing for you and what’s the best thing, especially for your child.

[MCG]

Right.

[Tricia]

Is it better to know and possibly get the helps that they need or is it better to just try to keep ploughing for me? I think the former.

[Jay]

Yeah, but I.

[Tricia]

Is more advantageous because then even as a parent you need support when you have a child who has these sorts of. Maybe it’s neuro divergent, maybe it’s some sort of learning disability or something like that. Just as a parent, knowing how to help your child know.

Is very. And then, like I said nowadays. A lot of. Curriculum that’s tailored to different needs like that because there’s been a lot more awareness of it. In education, whereas before it was segregated, it was something that we don’t talk about or we put over there or that was something that’s more integrated within the education system itself. That’s one reason why I was eclectic in my homeschooling is because box curriculums and so one size doesn’t fit all for every child. And what worked one year might not work the next year for even the same kid.

[Jay]

Right. Yeah, pretty sure.

[Tricia]

So you have to be very adaptable as a parent, but boxed curriculum. The reason why I don’t care for them as much. I know a lot of moms like them because it’s kind of. Kind of like, I don’t know, like a box of instant mashed potatoes.

[Jay]

Yeah, everything’s in the.

[Tricia]

Open it up and add water.

[Jay]

You don’t have to think about it. Go. Yeah.

[Tricia]

But the reason why I don’t like it so much is that a lot of parents don’t realize that those boxed curriculums, some of them again broad brush stroke, were created for classroom use. They weren’t even created for a home school. What does that mean? It has? Has extra work busy work? Extra practice. And so Mom comes along, finds the entire curriculum package. And. Filmed because there’s just so much to do. Well, it was never intended to be completed in a classroom or in a home school that entire year. Everything. So that’s why I said flexibility is really important for parents, for the needs of your child. Like you said, kinesthetic learner, that girl in the lab. Be flexible. OK, well, I have. I had that with my daughter, my son. I sat him down 4 1/2 years old. I got some readers. We worked on his letters and all of that. Already knew it. 4 1/2 we sat. Within two weeks, he was reading like that. He was just ready.

[MCG]

Oh wow.

[Tricia]

He was just. I did the same thing with my daughter. Daughter. Oh, my dear, I could have like, oh, I could have screamed trying to. Teach her how to read it was horrible.

[Jay]

Yeah.

[Tricia]

But then I talked to my friend. Right. I told you about earlier. Who had six kids? And I said OK. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. Been six months trying to do this. It’s so painful. And she said, why don’t you try this particular curriculum? It’s a hands on curriculum. It’s for phonetics. For phonics, she was reading within about two weeks. As soon as I got it. Why? Because she’s an. She had to manipulate the letters to be able to read it, and I was so thankful that I learned that very early on in my home school journey. I was like, wow, one size does not fit all my children are different.

[MCG]

Yep.

[Jay]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tricia]

Imagine that. So that’s the beauty of homeschooling is that we have that opportunity. Especially if we’re observers and learners of our kids, to be able to say, what do they need, like we can meet the needs of our children, not just. Quote UN quote. Educate them or get them through a. Set of curriculum. You know, I remember talking to my home school facilitator years ago and he always challenged me. And one day he said to me. When are your kids ready to graduate? I thought this is a trick. I know I’m going to get it wrong. I said when they’re 18 and he said when they take their education in their own hands. When you are no longer the one facilitating it. Then they’re. And I was like, you’re brilliant. I love you. But he challenged my paradigm of everything that I thought education was.

[MCG]

Right.

[Tricia]

And so these are sort of the lessons that I learned along the way and it served us really well. Any mom who’s come to me and I’ve said, hey, why don’t you try? Thinking outside the box, why don’t you try ferrying up your curriculum according to your child? Don’t you try. I even recommend doing some of your subjects together as a family. Why not do Bible together? Not do history together. The little kids might not get as much, however. It takes a lot of pressure and stress of the mom, not so much overwhelmed because it’s not. Every single subject, every child has to do completely isolated on their own.

[MCG]

Mm.

[Tricia]

What can you combine to? Is your burden of teaching, because let’s face it, moms are pretty busy people.

[Jay]

Yeah.

[Tricia]

I mean, even before homeschooling, their kids just taking care of a home, you know, trying to. Keep everybody fed.

[Jay]

Serum alive.

[Tricia]

And everybody clean everything. To survival is a big.

[Jay]

Right.

[Tricia]

Kill. That adding homeschool to the mix I mean. How can we work smarter, not harder? As the saying goes?

[MCG]

Let me say that’s are awesome too.

[Tricia]

I’m all about recession scenarios.

[Jay]

Feeling kind of miffed over there, but. All right, so let’s bring all of this.

[Jay]

Let’s tie a pretty bow on it and call it a package so you know we are responsible before God for the nurture, and the admonition and the education of our children. And we’ve decided that homeschooling is probably going to be the best way to bring that. So how can a family possibly teach their kids everything they need to know to thrive in life, but also to be true to what God has called them to be? I guess what I’m asking is, where does the gospel fit into this? What is the gospel and how does it fit into our home school and how does it define our home school?

[Tricia]

So I mean, first Corinthians 15 is the gospel. The death, burial and resurrection of the Lord Jesus Christ, and obviously having him at the center of our home school is Paramount. Just like in our home, whether you homeschool or not, that should be the goal of every Christian family. It’s such a blessing, really, being able to. See. Take the Lord’s guidance to be able to ask him every February or March. I would almost be like, am I ruining my kids?

[Jay]

Yeah.

[Tricia]

This curriculum really. I would second guess myself, yeah. But I would always think, well, I prayed about this curriculum. I prayed about what we were going to do. And so this is the course that God put us on. This is the course we’re going to keep walking on, and then I would start praying. The next year. Would the Lord have us to do so? The gospel is very, very integral. Just. Having the Lord walk alongside us in this home schooling journey. Don’t to do it alone. The Lord can be as much of A help as we ask. To be within our homeschool and of course, raising our children for the Lord, I mean that is such a privilege, such a privilege, such a blessing that we have these little disciples living amongst us. Sometimes it’s very fear inducing, like the fear of the Lord. Oh Lord, I have to discipline them because I taught them that that’s the big thing.

[Jay]

Yeah. Exactly, yeah.

[Tricia]

But I’ve often told my kids even. Nowadays, with my children being adult, I often tell them you’ve made me a better Christian. Question being a parent has made me a better Christian.

[MCG]

Oh yeah.

[Tricia]

You’ve shown me me. The Lord’s used you to convict me. The Lord’s used you to change me and so really has so much to do. Don’t know. People do it without the Lord.

[Jay]

Yeah.

[Tricia]

He’s just so integral. Yeah, into our homes and into our lives.

[MCG]

Absolutely. Well, Tricia, it was indeed a pleasure. Thank you for joining us on the Removing Barriers podcast.

[Jay]

Hey, thanks so much for listening to the Removing Barriers podcast. Did you know that you could find us on Twitter? Gab, Parler, Facebook and Reddit. Go to removingbarriers.net/contact and like and follow us on social media. Removing barriers. A clear view of the cross.

[MCG]

Thank you for listening. To get a hold of us, to support this podcast, or to learn more about removing barriers, go to removingbarriers.net.

[MCG]

This has been the removing Barriers podcast we attempted to remove barriers so that we all can have a clear view of the cross.